This Guy's great (heh). I just discovered and read 3 similar poems and they're all great. Apparently he published a book called "Fables for the Frivolous" with a lot of poems like this. Kind of reminds me of the Politically Correct fairy tale books that came out a few years ago. Same sort of humor. He also reminds me of W.S. Gilbert with the little asides and and the rythem.
The Embarrassing Episode of Little Miss Muffett
by Guy Wetmore Carryl (1873-1904)
LITTLE Miss Muffet discovered a tuffet,
(Which never occurred to the rest of us)
And, as 'twas a June day, and just about noonday,
She wanted to eat--like the rest of us:
Her diet was whey, and I hasten to say
It is wholesome and people grow fat on it.
The spot being lonely, the lady not only
Discovered the tuffet, but sat on it.
A rivulet gabbled beside her and babbled,
As rivulets always are thought to do,
And dragon flies sported around and cavorted,
As poets say dragon flies ought to do;
When, glancing aside for a moment, she spied
A horrible sight that brought fear to her,
A hideous spider was sitting beside her,
And most unavoidably near to her!
Albeit unsightly, this creature politely Said:
"Madam, I earnestly vow to you,
I'm penitent that I did not bring my hat.
I Should otherwise certainly bow to you."
Thought anxious to please, he was so ill at ease
That he lost all his sense of propriety,
And grew so inept that he clumsily stept
In her plate--which is barred in Society.
This curious error completed her terror;
She shuddered, and growing much paler, not
Only left tuffet, but dealt him a buffet
Which doubled him up in a sailor knot.
It should be explained that at this he was pained:
He cried: "I have vexed you, no doubt of it!
Your fists's like a truncheon." "You're still in my luncheon,"
Was all that she answered. "Get out of it!"
And the Moral is this: Be it madam or miss
To whom you have something to say,
You are only absurd when you get in the curd
But you're rude when you get in the whey.
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5 comments:
Worst poem ever.
Why would anyone take up preciouse internet space with such rubbish? Don't you realize that as we sit here global warming is happening? There are children starving in the streets of hell and poor midgets are being forced into lives of porn so that they can feed their heroin habits. Are we going to take this? I say no, we shall overcome. Now, on with the show
www.xxxmidgetporn.com/
Most of the so-called "midgets" in the world don't like to be called that name. They are actually elves or gnomes living secretly among us, spreading magic and cheer into our lives. But they are people to, in their own mystical way. So remember, when you see a midget - be it in porn or in a Mike Myers movie - make a wish. Midgets are lucky.
Dude I'm pretty sure you are gay.
I enjoyed your poem and I think everyone as the right to express there feeling so all you ignorant people should respect everyones rights to post there poems. I you dont like it then dont read it.
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