Friday, May 20, 2005
*Self-fulfilling Prophecy Alert*
Regarding my last post - I wrote that while my wife was out of town for 5 days. That very night after I got home, I ordered pizza with extra cheese, sausage, pepperoni and green peppers. I then ate most of it. I then was sick for the next two days with a temperature that hovered somewhere over 100, diarrhea, violent shivering which forced me to sit down while going tinkle, inability to eat anything, etc. I'm guessing it was food poisoning. But hey get this: my wife comes home on Wednesday night to a house that's a mess, dishes piled up, food containers out, litter-box filled up, etc. etc. All I'll say is that she was pretty angry... So there you go: I'm still a sluggard.
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2 comments:
JEFF - re-email me. I need to send your email to Jana so she can forward an invite to you from someone.
By the way, you should be really ashamed of this stuff, the sluggard stuff. Stop gorging yourself on bad food the moment your wife leaves town. You do it every time and it is disgusting and really bad for you. Thankfully this time you were made to pay for your sinful gluttony. There is no possible way a normal human body should be able to eat a large pizza with extra cheese and sausage. Its pure gluttony and it will kill you in time.
Seize the day for tomorrow you will die.
First off, let me recommend to you that you do not email this guy back. Jana's party is going to suck. No Pizza, no porn and most definitely no midgets. While you're busy living' this dude is busy dying. With the ever increasing influence of terrorism, global warming and soccer what’s so great about living forever anyway? The merry-go-round only goes around once my friend, why not spend your eco-credits? Eat your pizza, drink your beer and pay midgets to dance for you.
DANCE I SAY, DANCE!
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